We all know people who seem capable of connecting with anyone. They are the ones we turn to for advice, who ask the best questions—but who also hear what goes unsaid, what we are really trying to say.

You’ve probably been this person yourself at times. So why, at those moments, are we so good at connecting? And what can they tell us about how communication works?

Supercommunicators understand—some by intuition, some by hard-won experience—that there is a science to how human beings connect. As Pulitzer-prize winning author Charles Duhigg argues, they understand that every time we speak, we’re actually engaging in one of three conversations: What is this really about? How do we feel? And, Who are we?

Most important, Duhigg argues that anyone can become a supercommunicator. All of us can get better at connecting with others, become managers who listen more and empathize better, partners and spouses who know how to disagree without lingering hurt. Through ‘learning conversations’, we can unlock a better life—for ourselves, our families, our co-workers—and talk about what matters most.

By bringing readers into tense medical conversations and CIA recruitments of foreign spies, into Netflix’s company-wide conversations about equity and the writers’ room of The Big Bang Theory, Duhigg shows us why some people are able to make themselves heard—and hear others—so clearly. The book eavesdrops on juries debating a guilty verdict, marriage counselors trying to save couples, and NASA psychologists trying to figure out which astronauts can ‘hear’ emotions.

The findings are surprising: Paying attention to someone’s mood and energy is often more important than what they say. There are certain questions that, when asked, almost automatically make us feel closer. And, most important, there are three kinds of conversations, each requiring different skills.

In the end, Supercommunicators delivers a simple but powerful truth: With the right strategies and tools, anyone can create deeper, more meaningful connections. Anyone can be a supercommunicator, and the right conversation, at the right moment, can change everything.

Praise for Duhigg’s other books